shouting over the noise.
Truth is, my kids have been beating each other up.
Truth is, I have no idea how to make them stop.
I feel like I can't always be supervising every communication in the household, but it seems like that's what they need. Like they need a mediator to work out any toy exchanges or ideas and execution of games.
Lawlessness. Only not, because they have all sorts of ideas about the way things should be run. "Sharing" has been forced with swift kicks to the head. "Not listening" leads to throwing toys and mad dashes through the house.
They have their own horrible world of malicious punishment for arbitrary crimes. And I hate it.
Sometimes their meanness brings a horrible spirit to our home. (Does that make any sense?) And since I can't beat it, sometimes I join it. I punish over the punishments, like yelling louder to be heard over a shouting brawl.
Obviously that doesn't work.
The other day I yelled and yelled. We fought a pointless battle of wills for hours. I got so upset when I found my oldest digging through our pen and marker drawer, without his having asked, that I sent him to his room.
Then I found this on the table...
I know that many have weathered this storm before my time.
How?
Truth is, I have no idea how to make them stop.
I feel like I can't always be supervising every communication in the household, but it seems like that's what they need. Like they need a mediator to work out any toy exchanges or ideas and execution of games.
Lawlessness. Only not, because they have all sorts of ideas about the way things should be run. "Sharing" has been forced with swift kicks to the head. "Not listening" leads to throwing toys and mad dashes through the house.
They have their own horrible world of malicious punishment for arbitrary crimes. And I hate it.
Sometimes their meanness brings a horrible spirit to our home. (Does that make any sense?) And since I can't beat it, sometimes I join it. I punish over the punishments, like yelling louder to be heard over a shouting brawl.
Obviously that doesn't work.
The other day I yelled and yelled. We fought a pointless battle of wills for hours. I got so upset when I found my oldest digging through our pen and marker drawer, without his having asked, that I sent him to his room.
Then I found this on the table...
I know that many have weathered this storm before my time.
How?
Comments
I know you're a positive person, so this might be redundant, but loudly praise the good they do. That one time that Liam gives up a toy freely, praise him loudly in front of the rest. Depending on the situation you might even offer an incentive (an extra half-scoop of ice cream with dessert just as a reminder of how awesome he is and how proud you are that he made such a great choice.)Once they begin to see that their "mature" attitudes get a lot more results than their fighting did it might help over time. . .
My idea was simple, and probably redundant but here goes: Praise the positive - I have found that loudly praising the positive and repeating the praise throughout the day makes a huge difference. I only have one, but I would suggest doing it in front of the others too.
Ex: Liam gives up a toy of his own free will and choice, praise him to the skies and then later remind him (maybe as you scoop out an extra half-scoop of ice cream with dessert, or something else) "I am so proud of you for making such a big choice. I know how hard that was but it was the right thing to do. You're so strong!"
Another thought is that you're in a time of transition, and this could be their way of dealing with the change. Alisabeth gets downright honery whenever we shift up our normal routine (like moving, or starting a new semester). They might cool down in a few weeks.
as of late I have also been known to make them scrub the grout, clean the toilet, etc
they still fight and its tiring to mediate every argument....I m linking the whistle and Samantha idea hope you get a lot of responses so I can glean more ideas....just know you aren't alone.
No advice here. I'm pretty sure all my kids learned bad behavior from me. My philosophy is that all kids act like monsters at home. If they have terrible behavior at church/school etc, then there's a problem.
I guess I had advice after all. Follow @ your own peril.