balance.

evy got this cold first, then liam. followed by gwen and ossi, then me. finn just started, now matt. germs hit our big family and tumble us like dominos. 

when i'm down i just want to watch movies. i battle internally about the merit of media and my affection for it. the kids were watching ratatouille earlier today and i noticed little gwen was totally staring at the colors and pictures on the screen. it was a little cringey. 

i think... what to i think? i observe that there are types of important and spontaneous play that don't seem to happen when the tv is on. but today i feel too sick to care.

and why do we love to watch like we do? if movies are manifestations of our values and desires then our playlist reveals our thirst for adventure, deep emotions, and magic.

i like the idea that movies can be a springboard for activity. i'm emphatic in my opinion that we can seek out experiences that bring what we love in movies to life.  we can live the adventure, deep emotion, and magic if only in small ways.

just yesterday we were hiking through a beautiful forest and the kids were commenting, "this is where the snatchers took harry potter!" and "doesn't this part feel like the path the fellowship took?"

my sister was with us on our hike and as we walked onto a ledge with an expansive view, looking down, of tree-tops raising out of low clouds she remarked, "it's a screen saver, only real!" then when we returned to the car after sunset having hurried along a cold, dark trail, we felt as if we'd survived a foray into forbidden forest.

as we dance into the school year with a digital curriculum i hope to find balance. i hope what they learn online can act as catalyst for discovery outside the screens.  i hope we're not always on devices.

and i hope that i can have the self-compassion to keep the barre at a manageable height, especially when i'm sick and tired.