i missed aunt katie's birthday.

here is our gwenny. gwenie. gweni. i don't know how to spell my own child's nickname.

 gwen-nee finally fits this lovely onsie aunt katie gifted. 

 when i think of the kindness we receive from family and friends i am full of wonder, mouth gaping.

 i was thinking the other day of just how many friends we have gathered over the years and how overwhelming it can feel to try to be as good to them as they are to me. i have this deep desire to shower them all with generosity and thoughtful giving, yet i fall so short.

that can be a trap for me, the beginning of a spiral. because at the root of that self-pity is a cantankerous pride. i want to be perfect.

 i think i should be as perfectly sweet or sweeter than the givers in my life and then i get stuck because i can't keep up.

the humble truth goes like this...

i have light in my life that i sure didn't earn

i have friends in my life who give love out of turn

i have family who shares without thoughts of return

and it's okay that i'm not perfect, they still love me.