Friday, January 20, 2017

my story.

"you should be writing from life, from the depths of your soul."
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i've been watching "little women" almost every day (ill evy insists).
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makes me cry. makes me smile so big. makes me miss tamsin. makes me giddy about my husband.
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matt had never seen it until this month. he says i'm meg and jo mixed together. i see the personality blends in my own four darlings. evy's favorite is beth ("before she dies," she wanted me to clarify).
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their story reminds me that i'm living my own plot.

i feel as if the sad parts and the hard parts are building the meaning and heightening the connections. the happy and funny moments keep us afloat. all of it is beautiful, all of it is so real.
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could i keep a blog about anything else? could i write anything more true?

my family is my life, the depth of my soul.

my story.

christmas babies.

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Sunday, January 1, 2017

no fair.

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my kids know that if they say "no fair" it will launch me onto a soap-box about the state of the world and their cushy situations. they know i will say, "life's not fair, but that usually works in your favor."

but i know i'm guilty of forgetting, too.

this new adventure at a new elementary school has been interesting. before it was like this...

i'd be sitting with the kids eating lunch and one of their classmates would start telling me about their home situation. they'd casually mention things that were "mandatory reporter" things. tales of neglect and abuse. back then my kids didn't really use the phrase, "that's not fair."

now it's like this...

i'll be doing a reading group with students at the new school and i'll ask how their reading is going. one will say, "i'm already reading chapter books and my dad's an engineer." this will lead to a one-up contest about how long the books they read are and how much stuff they have. it's a little surreal.

in both places there are beautiful, bright children, but their worlds are night and day.

as i walked to the school a few weeks ago along a street of GIANT houses i saw a man doing yard work. i knew he didn't live in that house, but i thought of how nice it would be if he did, and everyone did. it wasn't even about houses exactly, i just ached for a fair and generous world.

i have to share these scriptures about the time after Christ's second coming...

Isaiah 65:21-23
 And they shall build houses, and inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, and eat the fruit of them.
They shall not build, and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat: for as the days of a tree are the days of my people, and mine elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands.
They shall not labour in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the Lord, and their offspring with them.
cool, right?

you are my christmas.

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Monday, December 19, 2016


i feel like i used to dance with my babies every day before i went back to school.

and i've been in school since evy was just two, which means she's been missing out.

we've got a lot of dancing to catch up on!
this and other songs are available for free download here. enjoy. :)