Sunday, February 22, 2009

Bad Idea

OK, so I have THE funniest story to tell you. One time, when was 18, I was dating this guy. He was quite a bit older than I was and very smart so... I was afraid to tell him that I didn't know how to drive... at all.

One night he called and asked me to come by for just a bit, and I talked my mom into driving me over and waiting in the car for a few minutes. When I arrived he kept asking if I wanted to watch a movie or something, but, you see, I couldn't because my mom was hiding in the back seat of the suburban, which was parked outside. I am not even kidding.

When I told him it was time for me to go, he said he would walk me out, and then he proceeded to walk me to my car and tried to get all kissy... in front of my mom, only he didn't know that.

I finally got into the car and I waited for him to go back into his little cottage, but he stood at the curb and watched me. The most hilarious part was that I didn't even have the keys and even if I had, I would not have known what to do with them because I had never driven, no, not ever. My mom was laughing soooo hard at me. She tossed me the keys and, between fits of laughter, taught me how to drive. I kept stepping really hard on the break and the whole car was jerking.

I turned right at the corner of his street, though I knew the way home was left, because I was afraid of the traffic. He was watching the whole time! Boy, was I embarrassed. We switched the second I was out of sight.

And that's why you don't try to pretend to be something you are not so that a boy will like you.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

my four seasons

I'm liking their sound right now, and missing Duke while he is away on his internship. Check out their song "My Four Seasons."


We've gone a few days with out any potty-accidents! He is becoming quite a little man.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

what does this say about my priorities?

Sparky broke into the cleaning supplies and got himself covered with Comit. My first thought was, "If I could get him to roll around in the bath now, it would probably get clean."

extending trust

Disclaimer: I am not speaking of verbal or physical abuse, for I have limited experience, and no expertise in that department. Some forms of betrayal would be foolish to forget completely. I am expounding more about character flaws, instances of stupidity and offence, and general human nature.

I understand that “trust” and “forgiveness” are not exactly synonyms.

But truly forgiving when it comes to human nature and disappointments, I believe, incorporates trust, and without the trust, the forgiveness is incomplete.

Here’s a scenario. I invite my dear brother for dinner and he commits to be there, but at the last second he calls to say he is tired and he won’t be coming. I invite him again the following week and he pledges his attendance, but the time comes for dinner with no word from him. I forgive him and love him anyway but I can…

A. Stop inviting him for dinner
B. Invite him but not count on him
C. Invite him and expect him to be there

I assert that the greatest happiness in forgiveness comes as we extend love with 100% sincerity and confidence in the people around us.

How many times have I been prompted to do something through an inspiration from the Lord, and decided to ignore the feeling? Many, many times. But He keeps sending me promptings, He keeps intrusting His great work to me. What if the Lord said to himself, “Well, what’s the point, she won’t do it any way” or even, “I’ll send her a prompting but I still think she is a total flake.” He loves us and trusts us over and over again.

I know when my trust is broken through a character flaw of someone I know, I am very likely to label them and categorize them in my mind. Susie always puts her foot in her mouth, Ralph never sticks to anything. How are these labels helping your good feelings for these people? How are you following the Lord’s example of “remembering no more”? Wouldn’t the best approach be, “I know Susie has said things in the past that were hurtful, but I love her, I forgive her, and I know she can and will do better.”

I have been thinking about why we don’t trust again easily. I think it has much to do with our inability to let go of labels, our tendency to take the actions of others far too personally, and our lack of faith in the power of the Lord to change hearts and lives.

Letting Go: The more I think to myself that my husband is a messy person who doesn’t care about my feelings when it comes to chores, the more it seems to be true. We are the narrators of our own stories. I choose the tone and voice in the record of my life, and the account I give of the people around me. What is a lack of confidence if not holding past offences in my mind to prohibit my trust? And if I am holding onto these offences, have I truly forgiven? Rip off the labels in your relationships and start each day fresh! What’s to loose? If you are let down, you can apply the process as many times as you like!

Have a sense of humor: We all have different manors, upbringing, thought-processes, etc. and to hold each person to my ideas of how one should act, may be a little ego-centric of me. When others do things that don’t make sense, we can remember that the Lord created us to be different to help us learn from each other, and find joy in the complexity of each soul. There are few people who are on a mission just to make you mad. Don’t take the follies of others so personally; it only will bring darkness into your life.

The Lord can do all things: A person CANNOT be a lost cause. The Lord has power to change us from the natural man to be like Him. There is symbolism in potty-training, stay with me on this one. Sparky peed his pants 7 times in 3 hours the first day. Yuck. 3 times the next day, no accidents the next two days and nights, and then had a huge accident the next morning and fell off the potty-wagon. Do I decide he is not ready to potty train because he failed? I felt discouraged and unsure. But then I though, “he can do this, I know he can.” That confidence in him does not change through the accidents. I know he can do it. That is why I haven’t given up. The Lord knows we can do it. He doesn’t give up on us, and when we look at the people around us with the same confidence, love, and trust, they will feel it. This can only help them to be better.

Conclusion: Extend yourself. Don’t be afraid to trust because you can have incredible bounce-back ability as you apply complete forgiveness time and time again. You choose how your feel about the people around you, and your feelings will either hurt or help them. You are changing each moment and so are your loved ones, so don’t freeze them in your mind, inhibiting their progress. Life is a circus, and although you may feel like the ringleader, you are actually a clown, just like everyone else.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The fullest life

The following is my exploration into the phrase “living life to the fullest.”

My interest in this subject has grown out of my having read the some of the Internet questionnaires that my friends have completed through email or via facebook. Specifically the question “Are you living life to the fullest?” with the repeated answer “no.”

What do (I /they/ you) consider a full life? Having no empty space, maybe?
To help in my analysis, I started thinking about the different ways that the word “full is used. Of particular interest (just think about it);
• My heart is full
• She is full of confidence
• When he died he thought he’d lived a full life

Does obtaining “the fullest” mean parties, world-travel, experiences, positions, account balances, body type…? I would venture to say that living a full life has little to do with acquisitions and centers, to a greater extent, on attitude.

What would you be doing different if there were no obstacles? I have asked this to a few women who feel a lack of fulfillment and it has surprised me that they could not answer. It seems to me that the shortage of a thought-out comparison between deepest desires and present conditions exposes where their lives are lacking. Enthusiasm. Retaining a remembrance of their dreams when those dreams become reality.

In most cases, ladies, you are living your dream! That explains you are finding it difficult to think of anything you would change about your circumstance.

That covers the big picture, now what about the details?

I would LOVE to be traveling the world right now. A personal chef and a new wardrobe would be pretty nice. But when I am on my deathbed will I be saying, “I had so many shoes, what a full life I lived”? I certainly hope not! Someday I will be able to travel, but I would hate to wish away my children over it. They are the bigger dream, and they can be part of my smaller dreams and even make their actualization sweeter.

I am a huge fan of silliness, I have a passion for photography, and I like to remind myself that just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean that I can’t be totally hot. These things translate into my desire to do fashion photo-shoots. Yes, I am that much of a nerd. This is, in a way, a little ambition of mine. Today I went out with Laura and got a little bit silly. We took the boys. Sparky played in the snow and laughed at our shenanigans. We took a detour to stop and admire giant construction tools with wheels, just for him. Yes, the dressing up and parading about was something that I wanted to do, that had nothing to do with a need or want of his, but sharing that with him made it all the more lovely. Plus, I am a big believer in teaching my children that I am real person with real feelings, not a robot whose soul purpose is their every whim. I hope my children will always be able to see that I have passions and desires, dreams and even follies, because they need to know that they are allowed the same.

To find if you are “living life to the fullest” do some self-analysis. What is your measuring stick telling you if your life good or not? How can you know that you are unhappy if you have forgotten what makes you happy? You may be living a more full life than you think. Reestablish your destination before you decide how your progress is coming along. If there are things lacking after the analysis, get excited for the new you! Do things you’ve always wanted to do and just modify them to fit into your present circumstances. You are spunky and free as a bird, as long as you believe you are.

for the love of horses

Sparky cannot stop talking about horses. His first major sentence was “Daddy rides horses home.” Spur of the moment (pun intended), we decided to take a drive and look for some four-legged friends to feed. I expected him to be jumping up and down with excitement but instead…

I guess we will stick to tractors and trucks.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

I am Megan Marie.

Alright, to the reasons.

Enthusiasm is contagious. Plus, the more you give it away, the more you seem to have! I'd love to share my zeal for life with anyone who will listen.

I need an outlet for my creative juices. There are ideas floating around in my brain and when they pop out my mouth, they land on a toddler who, without fail, says, "YEAH" in response.

Some of the things I've seen in the last few years are too hilarious not to be sharing.

Welcome to my mind and heart. I am Megan Marie.

Meet Sparky.

Oh, he may look harmless... well, he mostly is. Sparky is a sensitive, little man with an affinity for stickers, things that have wheels, and the color yellow. He is currently undertaking a laborious project, which is demanding a great amount of discipline on his part; Potty-Training. Yikes.

Introducing Iggy.

Here is a wise soul stuck in a body that will not cooperate. He is famous for falling, fidgeting, and for his momentous fake-crying.

His anthem:

"Oh the thumb-sucker's thumb
May look wrinkled and wet
And withered and white as the snow,
But the taste of a thumb
Is the sweetest taste yet
(As only we thumb-suckers know)."
-Shel Silverstein

About Duke.

When I met Duke, he was a 24-year-old heathen. If he'd heard the word "commitment" he probably would have pictured rehab or an insane asylum.

He has retired his post as cynical bachelor, and entered a more rewarding calling as my husband, and the father of two beautiful boys, Sparky and Iggy.