Monday, December 7, 2015

The ground under my feet.

The other day I was so sick. I was sick and miserable and depressed. My husband stayed home from work so that I could sleep and try to get feeling better but I just tossed and turned, all the while feeling uneasy and hopeless. I was actually thinking about the book "The Secret Garden."
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I thought about the broken children of this story who healed by running free in nature and sharing an innocent secret. I thought about my broken child, my seven year old son, who I can't seem to help no matter what I try. I wanted to give him the world. I wanted him to run wild in a foggy moor and make friends with foxes and birds and other children. In a place like that he could have innocent secrets and fantastic adventures that could help him heal from the terrible pain he's in.

I thought about all of my growing babies who would thrive in the wilderness with the squirrels and crows and baby lambs. I thought of the bonds and character and muscle they'd gain if they could safely be more free. 

As I rolled around lamenting about what I thought I'd like my life to be like, what I thought would fix our family, an urgent word echoed in my heart and mind. "Joshua." I don't know a Joshua. "Joshua." Over and over. Until I zeroed in on the only Joshua in my life. I opened my scriptures and read these words: 

Now therefore arise...Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you...I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee...Be strong and of a good courage: for unto this people shalt thou divide for an inheritance the land, which I sware unto their fathers to give them...Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law...turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest. This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for theLord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

My heart was filled with peace when I remembered what it is to Trust God. I needed the lecture: Only be strong. Only keep the commandments. Only read the scriptures a lot and do what you read. That's it. That's it. Nothing more than that. Then expect prosperity. Then expect success.

My world may be mostly paved right now but the very ground under my feet is given to me. The world is open and healing and hope and health is on the horizon.

“The sun is shining—the sun is shining. That is the Magic. The flowers are growing—the roots are stirring. That is the Magic. Being alive is the Magic—being strong is the Magic. The Magic is in me—the Magic is in me. It is in me—it is in me. It’s in every one of us.”
-Colin, The Secret Garden, Chapter 23.