Friday, April 16, 2010

i'm making awkward conversation

It's 2:38 AM. There's a tiny, little baby in my bed, taking up my whole spot.

Last night, on the way home from a dinner with all of Duke's co-workers to celebrate the death of tax season, I confided, "this is going to sound really weird but I have a little-girl crush on your boss." I stared at him all through dinner, swooning over his buck-teeth and slight speech impediment.
I have a thing for guys who sell themselves short. Who are a little awkward and lack confidence. It's almost like I need somebody who is a little broken so I can try to fix them. Duke, in jest, commented, "I wish I was a little more awkward, so you'd like me." I remember when I met him he was lost. In so many ways. I reminded him that although he's not broken anymore, he is my one long-term investment and I still have work to do. (Really, he's the only man who's ever fixed my broken pieces in return.) I love that we have the most ridiculous conversations. I'm never afraid to confess a silly secret to him.
I think that there will always be a tiny piece of my heart that goes out to the shy, the self-conscious, the embarrassed, the undervalued, bashful boys.

The rest of my heart is for Duke, whatever state he happens to be in.

I loved him then because he was lost. I love him now because he is him.

7 comments:

Trapper and Suzy said...

Awww. : )

*Lesli* said...

i adore this post. i'm the same way :)

Mac said...

I cannot believe that you have only been together 4 years! wow what a lot of babies in such a short time. Fitz is so beautiful in the photos that you post, well they are all beautiful but Fitz is especially so. My first baby has his birthday on your wedding anniversary, he was 18 this Wednesday! And I can remember what its like to wake up in a bed with three men (and thats not meant to be about kinky sex!) Happy weekend and keep posting, Marrianne

Domesticated-Bliss said...

wow :) so lucky to have a hubby that understands you so completely :)

ps check out my blog when you get a chance, I had a late post :)

Margaret said...

:)

Brieanna said...

I just love "Lost," period. I think I have a soft spot for guys like Jack. I told Joe I have a little crush on him the other day. Jack is strong but sensitive, I have a soft spot for the sensitive guys.

Megan Marie said...

see, i like sawyer because he's so broken. :)