i'm making awkward conversation
It's 2:38 AM. There's a tiny, little baby in my bed, taking up my whole spot.
Last night, on the way home from a dinner with all of Duke's co-workers to celebrate the death of tax season, I confided, "this is going to sound really weird but I have a little-girl crush on your boss." I stared at him all through dinner, swooning over his buck-teeth and slight speech impediment.
I have a thing for guys who sell themselves short. Who are a little awkward and lack confidence. It's almost like I need somebody who is a little broken so I can try to fix them. Duke, in jest, commented, "I wish I was a little more awkward, so you'd like me." I remember when I met him he was lost. In so many ways. I reminded him that although he's not broken anymore, he is my one long-term investment and I still have work to do. (Really, he's the only man who's ever fixed my broken pieces in return.) I love that we have the most ridiculous conversations. I'm never afraid to confess a silly secret to him.
I think that there will always be a tiny piece of my heart that goes out to the shy, the self-conscious, the embarrassed, the undervalued, bashful boys.
The rest of my heart is for Duke, whatever state he happens to be in.
I loved him then because he was lost. I love him now because he is him.
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ps check out my blog when you get a chance, I had a late post :)