we went over the bridge and past the troll

A very long time ago we made a few HUGE decisions about the path we would take. We felt really good about these decisions, like we were being led by the hand into this chapter. We knew the following months would be difficult because the chosen path separated us for more than half of 2009 (me with our young children), and although we would be together again come the New Year, Duke's work schedule would be rigorous, leaving me once more alone to parent for several months longer.

I now have limitless respect for single parents. And military families. My heart aches for the load they carry.

Maybe sometimes it seems like I've kept it all together effortlessly. False. This has really tried me. There have been mornings when I've desperately wished that the sun wouldn't raise on another lonely day. What kept me going was the promise of an end to these struggles.

The end came. But, strangely, the relief didn't. Duke had several days off to spend with us, but even in his company I felt alone. I realize now that it was silly of me to think that overnight I could become endlessly happy. The result of my dashed hope was a heap of tears, an angry tantrum, and a very confused husband.

Of course I still would feel lonely. It takes time to cultivate good relationships, and equal effort to repair strained bonds. Plus, I can remember what it was like to become a parent for the first time. Why wouldn't it be just as hard for someone to get back into the swing of things after an extended time away.

We talked things through over Thai food, the kids with Grandparents for the day. We still needed to talk so we went shopping together. And we talked more over hot coco at a cozy coffee shop. Time together, quality time with only one another, heals me.

We realized that we hadn't officially celebrated the great feat we had accomplished over the last 16 months. We clinked our mugs and sang the "we did it" song from Dora the Explorer (if that's any indication that we spend all our time with toddlers). We said a prayer of gratitude and asked that the Lord accept our offering, despite our shortcomings.

And like that, it was over. The chapter was over. Like that, it was Spring.

The words of a sweet woman, Miss Barbara Thompson, came to mind; "Most of you work very hard to perform your duty, to keep the commandments, and to obey the Lord. You need to be able to recognize the Lord’s approval. You need to know that the Lord is well pleased and has accepted your offering."

How often do we do our very best and still not feel like we're good enough? I know I am guilty of feeling quite guilty. I learned that I can just turn it over to the Lord. And He will most likely send me peace and words like these; "I, THE Lord your God, am not displeased with your coming this journey, notwithstanding your follies." (Doctrine and Covenants 111:1)

When we were shopping, Duke picked out these great tights for me, and I wore them Sunday. We took a family walk, we each gave lessons at church, then we spoke at a "fireside" which is a meeting in the evening to rejoice together about the Gospel of Christ.

The above picture is of our church's nursery, where our children play and sings songs. Below is the Primary room where I teach the children between the ages of 3 and 11. Duke gets to be in there with me since his assignment is over the 9 to 11 year-old boys.

Saturday was heavy. Sunday was light.

And now I am starting to notice that the blessings we've received far outnumber our sacrifices.

We did it, we did it, we did it hooray.