Monday, May 17, 2010

much needed medicine.

I'm worried.

Anxiously, I turn over each stone in my own head.

My mind plays out each possible scenario, imagining the worse.
I mull over those decisions that fall to me, which is really not too painful of a process. Unfortunately I can't stop the worry over choices that are not mine to make.

I worry for those who are lost. My desire to help is strong. But mostly I worry about my children becoming part of the collateral damage. So, I ask, should I do something with a risk. Or nothing with an indifferent coldness.
There was that day we spent at the coast. I remember taking in the glory of it along side a friend. She said that she would be storing this day in her mind to bring back out when life got to be too much.
I remembered this while stewing over dirty dishes, just moments ago. And thought today is as good as any for a comforting daydream.
A dream of him. Of sandcastles and tinfoil dinners. Of children running free across a seemingly endless expanse of beauty.
Where the only worry was the threat of a small wave...
Intent on dampening the cuffs of our pants.
I'm determined to recognize that the blessings in this life completely surpass the trials.

I've got more memories of joy saved up for rainy days than I will ever need.


Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.(John 14:27.)


Glo said...

If I am one of the pebbles you are pondering, please ponder no further. My choice has been made and there will be no collateral damage. Life is sweet and I can now see through "the smoke filled room" to the clear skies ahead. Times will be tough, but I know that I have the love of others to see me through the next few weeks. Right? I love you and thanks for the note, Mom

Trapper and Suzy said...

That was a beautiful post. You could be a writer. I hope that you will have angels to attend you in those times of worry. Keep up these posts. You're an inspiration.

TheUnSoccerMom said...

wow.... many of the words you wrote, I could have written... thank you...

ilene joyce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ilene joyce said...

beautiful writing and beautiful photos. i pray that you further know, experience, and understand this Perfect Peace. :)

p.s. the verse you mentioned is one of my favorites!