Thursday, August 5, 2010

I've such a lot of living to do.

There are ideas cooking in my brain, only I've left the heat on and gone out for a walk. Along the way I watch my feet pace the sidewalk. I have sporadic moments of panic as I smell burning, but I quickly choose to forget and keep walking away.

I guess I could say I'm bubbling over with plans and channeling none of them into actions.

That book I want to write is as crispy burnt in my mind as the grilled-cheese sandwich I ate for lunch.

My plans for Duke are filling the kitchen with black smoke and instead of fixing things I'm just fanning the smoke alarm with a towel to try and quiet my mind.

I have a really great idea for a short movie. And a plan to help my sister with a sewing project. And a list of adventures for my boys. Oh gosh, my family history work to be done...
At this point I would take a dim brain over a restless, distracted body.

I must conquer my own self. I must stand watchful over the heat and work until I've a dish I can take pride in.

"It occurs when the boy who has been enchanted in the nursery by Stories from the Odyssey buckles down to really learning Greek. It occurs when lovers have got married and begin the real task of learning to live together. In every department of life it marks the transition from dreaming aspiration to laborious doing."
-C.S. Lewis

Now is the time for that transition.

Now away to think, and plan, and then do. Then do.

POST EDIT: I wanted more background for the C.S. Lewis quote. I wanted to know what the "it" meant. Here is the line before the quote I chose (from The Screwtape Letters). "The enemy allows this disappointment to occur on the threshold of every human endeavor."

Truly, disappointment is frequent stumbling block in my climb.

I hardly endure in creative pursuits after a let-down.

And I already feel confident that my resolution to change will be marked by sore disappointment. But the plan is to strike back with deeper commitment.


emily said...

as always, lovely photos. the quote is kind of haunting--- "the task of learning to live together" this is such an adjustment but a wonderful one at that. anyway, great post (as usual)

R.J said...

hey, i weas on my blogwalking when i found your blog..
and guess what?
I really live your blog.
I mean, how could you did this?
wwow! it's so great you know..

anyway, would you like to visit mone too?
it will be very great if you do so..
My blog wasn't good as yours of course.

Thank you
warm regards from Indonesia

Anonymous said...

C.S.Lewis is great! And you are stronger than your dissapontments! :) And so am I!