Thursday, October 7, 2010

Fair Love.

I can hardly articulate the thoughts playing in my head.

Seeming the concepts together into any sort of solid process of analysis is proving difficult so perhaps I will simply state said thoughts which happen to be centralized in favoritism among family members.

1. Coming from what I consider a very fair family, each time I post about a specific child I feel the immediate need to post about my other children.

2. I do not believe that love can be measured, quantified and compared. When I catch myself attempting to count up and balance each quality I love in each of my children, I feel forced, fake and frustrated with my own relationships. When I think of them as very separate individuals and focus instead on cultivating love for each of them in whatever way they need, I feel the peace of true equality.

3. Lately I have been pondering the practice of labeling children "mamma's boy" "daddy's girl" or any combination of these. I am wondering if it can't be harmful in some ways, perhaps implying favoritism not only on the part of the child. People actually ask my quite often if whichever boy happens to be feeling clingy at the time is a mamma's boy (don't think for a second that I'm not tempted to braggingly reply that they are). Each time my mind recalls similar moments when the boys cannot be pried from their father. Could these labels be self-fulfilling prophesy?

4. This may be weird but sometimes when I catch glimpses in my sons of the men they are slowly becoming, I feel like they are my friends- but different- something more like brothers. Is it weird that I would love them like brothers?

5. Maybe being fair with love means to simply put the same amount of effort into cultivating relationships with each of them. The method chosen to strengthen the bonds may be so different that they may, when taken out of context, seem unfair. Each child feels love differently, so should we show love differently? I seem to be getting along ok using the shot-gun method, telling them I love them in any way I can think of; quality time, spoken words, serving them, making gifts. But if you do something for one of your children must you always do that same something for all?

6. Why, the mighty-morphin-power-rangers do make me happy! Especially when you pretend to be one, young Sparky. I am proud of you.

Ehk, it feels good to get all those thoughts out of my brain, sending them spiraling into space. Maybe one of you can do something productive with them.

Candidly speaking, I adore this blog for the endlessness of its invitation to write.

Dear reader, I hope you have a lovely weekend adorned with deep and fulfilling thoughts.

Megan Marie

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