play.
As much as I love to go to the park with other moms and sit around on the benches while the kids run around, I'm actually glad that I've had the opportunity, since moving here, to spend more park time as a lone mother.
For one thing, I actually play with the kids. As a child I recall my dad playing a game he called "Gollum" (after the Lord of the Rings creature). He would have a playground of strangers joining in the fun of chasing one another and working as teams. I liked that... And now I'm like that... Imagine if he had always told me to "just go play" while he grownuped.
Alright, I know it's sort-of cliche to say things like "studies have shown..." and go on to make some sort of point so I'll just skip that part (but I really did learn this in a recreation course at college).
Women, in general, have less fun that men. What? I know! Let me tell you why...
1. They are typically more self-conscious, hindering their willingness to try new things with a good attitude in fear they might look stupid.
2. Being more prone to planning, they become easily disgruntled when everything doesn't pan out the way they were imagining. Basically, they have a harder time going with the flow when the unexpected happens.
So, one thing that helps me is that I make very, very flexible outing plans, developing only a theme and letting circumstance guide the rest. For example; "Let's walk around downtown with five dollars." NOT "Let's go to the bakery on Center and get a bagel, then go to the capital and take the tour, then be back to the car at 4:15."
Another thing that helps me is having practically no shame, but that's just a family trait.
When we were kids, play came naturally. Now that we're older, we have to work at it a little, but its importance has not left our lives.
I advise practice. I mean it. Go play.
For one thing, I actually play with the kids. As a child I recall my dad playing a game he called "Gollum" (after the Lord of the Rings creature). He would have a playground of strangers joining in the fun of chasing one another and working as teams. I liked that... And now I'm like that... Imagine if he had always told me to "just go play" while he grownuped.
Alright, I know it's sort-of cliche to say things like "studies have shown..." and go on to make some sort of point so I'll just skip that part (but I really did learn this in a recreation course at college).
Women, in general, have less fun that men. What? I know! Let me tell you why...
1. They are typically more self-conscious, hindering their willingness to try new things with a good attitude in fear they might look stupid.
2. Being more prone to planning, they become easily disgruntled when everything doesn't pan out the way they were imagining. Basically, they have a harder time going with the flow when the unexpected happens.
So, one thing that helps me is that I make very, very flexible outing plans, developing only a theme and letting circumstance guide the rest. For example; "Let's walk around downtown with five dollars." NOT "Let's go to the bakery on Center and get a bagel, then go to the capital and take the tour, then be back to the car at 4:15."
Another thing that helps me is having practically no shame, but that's just a family trait.
When we were kids, play came naturally. Now that we're older, we have to work at it a little, but its importance has not left our lives.
I advise practice. I mean it. Go play.
Comments
I need to work on the "going with the flow" i'm such a planner, and when things don't work out, I FREAK out.