Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A pretty woman fantasy.

When we leave our house people usually respond to us in one of two ways... "Wow, looks like you've got your hands full!" (With a merry chuckle and a pat on the back.) OR "Wow, looks like you've got your hands full." (With a what-the-heck-were-you-thinking-birthing-all-those-children-then-daring-to-bring-them-here under-tone.)

I'd say the majority of folks give the friendly chuckle. But sometimes (like today) they don't. Sometimes store clerks won't even help me because they disapprove so very much of my unruly crew.

And who can blame them really?

When the stinkers nearly tip over a shopping cart, touch everything in the specialty store, bicker back and forth about everything, and run off down every isle, leaving me frantic... Well, I can see why somebody looking in from the outside may not approve. You know what, I don't even approve! Not cool, kids!

Oh, can't you just sit still and eat this nice milkshake I got you?

No? Fine then, we're going to the car.

Can't you just be happy with the stickers we got and stop asking for every other toy in the store?

The worst is getting home from rough errands and realizing that you bought the wrong thing. Ever done that?

So here's my Pretty Woman fantasy;

I walk into the fabric store looking like Victoria Beckham, plus three, dapper, totally well-behaved boys flanking me and inwardly-laugh at all the people who want to cut my fabric for me now.
picture via.

Then I will go to the Children Learning Store, dressed as classy as Gloria Vanderbilt with strapping young men holding each of my hands and say very loudly, "My, what tacky puzzles!"... OK, I have a few years to work on what I would actually say.
Most likely I wouldn't say a word to any store clerks or anything because ultimately this dream isn't about revenge. I really would just like to feel like a normal person in public, instead of a three-ringed-circus.


Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to follow my blog

mama miller said...

I don't have any "advice" to offer here, nor do I feel like I have the right to offer any since I only have 1 daughter who only just turned one and is not quite able to run the aisles anywhere, but let me at least offer you this: you ARE doing a GOOD job! :)

You are clearly a mama who loves her children wholeheartedly and it shows! A mama who takes the time to make life fun for them and turn the ordinary mundane stuff into adventures! (even when they are rascals and make it difficult!) Your boys are very blessed to have a mama like you!

Rach said...

well, at least your hair looks really cute.

Trina said...

You're a gem, Megan. I know exactly what you're saying. But yeah, your hair looks great! and that's something.

emily said...

i see this whole scene unveiling because my sister is in a very similar situation. i'm sure you're still gorgeous while flustered, though :)
wish i had a solution... although it is nice to know that not everything is really so perfect as victoria and gloria would have us think.

Angela Brown said...

You really should just invest in a few of those backpack leashes and strap them to the cart. I most truly feel your pain, though I imagine three is much more difficult to wrangle than two.

Emily said...

It helps to know you are not the only one, so thanks. I am right there with ya 100%.

robin said...

um, amen!

sslindstrom06 said...

Ohh Megan, must have been one of those moments. Well, I look up to you every time I see your picture. And I think about how amazing you are that you can have 3 wonderful boys. "this too shall pass" No advice, just some viral chocolate and super cheesy smile. And thanks for letting the public know about your day, b/c I know at some point a lot of us will (were) there. Thanks Megan....

amychasingchildren said...

Oh my goodness! I'm glad I read this today! I took my 3 kids to Gilbert House imagining a delightful morning filled with discovery and bonding. Instead I chased my kids all over the place. My oldest wanted me to read and do the exhibits with her, but I couldn't with trying to keep track of my 3 and 18 month old boys. Plus with spring break there was a huge crowd. Someone was opening the door to one of the houses and I thought they were doing it for me and my wild kids to get thru, only once I got in I got a nasty look and a "so rude". Seriously I'm just a mom trying to survive lady! So I feel your frustration! Bless you for your funny story though!

Kat & Paul said...

oh megan! this is my life! lol....and here in oklahoma i have learned that when they ask, "Are you blessed?" they are really saying, "Are you crazy?" Good to