cravings. and a bad memory for these things.

A few hours after Sparky was born Duke decided to go home for a little while and freshen up. I really didn't want to be alone, or even with the precious baby alone because I had no idea what to do with the fragile, little man. Duke left me with a kiss and a promise to return swiftly. I fell asleep waiting for what felt like hours and awoke in a rage without him by my side. I called Duke to yell discovering I had dozed for only a couple of minutes and that he had just had time to walk out of the hospital into the parking lot.

My point is this; my immediate perception and afterward recall are horribly flawed, especially when I'm speaking about pregnancy, labor and delivery. That's probably why I allow myself to become pregnant again, forgetting each time the (without sounding too melodramatic) massive suffering.

So since I don't think I ever put this down anywhere, I will recount here what I craved with each pregnancy and I may be totally wrong with all of them (though the current pregnancy information is a tiny bit more likely to be accurate).

Baby 1. Grilled cheese sandwiches. Fast food, especially Wendy's chicken nuggets.

Baby 2. Home-made macaroni and cheese.

Baby 3. Pad Thai.

Baby 4. Picante Beef Top Ramen drenched in chili sauce. (That bottle in the top picture was new at the beginning of this pregnancy.) With a really, really big glass of milk.

Ok, journaling. Check.

But I should also put in here that it is miserable being pregnant, Megan. You are tired and cranky and under motivated. You decided you never want to do this again no matter how those cute, sweet, adorable, little babies you see, as your kids get bigger, make you swoon. You are blue more often than not and it makes it nearly impossible to mother the children you've already birthed. Megan, also don't get mad at Duke when you are begging for another baby and he reminds you that you wrote this.

Ok, truthful journaling. Check.