Thursday, January 5, 2012

be free, inner child.

Each morning this week I've awoken feeling woefully weary. Then I've forced my face into what I'm sure is a ridiculously hideous grin and I've popped out of bed like a piece of toast.

Doesn't the level of activity a young child exhibits in the early hours seem somewhat supernatural? If grown-ups could only suck a little of their spunk out like a vampire with a morning kiss...

Sorry if I scared you. That was a really spooky thought.

What's scarier is that I am totally going to imagine some of their energy passing to me through their kisses tomorrow. And it will work, I think. Mwahaha.

I made an incredible discovery at dinner time today. Whining is the worst. (That's not the discovery.) The boys were warring for the last popsicle. I was like, "Hey now chillins! There are like four different flavors of delicious ice-cream. Why would you fight for a nasty, freezer-burned, gross-flavored popcicle?" I know why. Because there was only one nasty, freezer-burned, gross-flavored popcicle available and to a boy, eating "the last ______" is like sinking a 3 pointer to win the game as the buzzer sounds.

That reminds me of another funny story.

Anyway, they were whining about the last popcicle-

Oh, what? You must hear that other funny story? Okay, okay. Well after Iggy's big dance recital his aunt and uncle gifted him a balloon and some special sweets. His brothers were envious to say the least. While they fought over the balloon Iggy tenderly opened his chocolates. The trace amount of sugar in the air immediately beckoned brothers. Iggy saw them from across the room and, anticipating that I might ask him to share, he shoved every last candy into his mouth before they'd taken two steps. Triumph! He chewed the hodgepodge of flavors, chocolate drizzling from the corners of his mouth, when suddenly with a sputtering gag the whole mess flew out of his mouth onto our couch. Yum.

Back to my discovery; whining wastes away on opposite day.

"We don't want to go to behhhhhhhd!" (my ears are bleeding)

"Oh, it's opposite day! I guess that means you DO want to go to bed!"

"We really want to go to bed, mom!!! Yes! We can't wait!" (oh, i thought you'd never ask, sweet children)

In the case of the popcicle...

"It's mine! I-eeee want it!"

I cut in, "so you don't want it then? Remember that it's opposite day."

"Oh yeah! You have it! Take it!"

"No, you have it! I hate popcicles!" (giggle, giggle, giggle)


They can debate all night so long as they're not drawing out their phrases into horrific, life-draining whines.


Also, opposite day is nice for confusing them into submission...

"If you don't not give that toy to your brother I will not be going to maybe tickle you."

(what, mom??? I can't think, so much pressure. ahhhh! she's coming over here to tickle me!) And so comes the hurried surrendering of the toy.

Seriously works. Maybe it's just because we aren't falling into the same old argument- I say this, you respond with that, and on and on.

Oooooo! Duke is home! See you, suckers! (sorry about that. i've let the kid in me out and it does want to not maybe go away never.)

1 comment:

Laura said...

I am definitely going to try that! --the opposite day thing, not the popping out of bed like toast thing, or the spooky vampire kisses thing, or even the eating the oatmeal squares from between my toes thing.
When you mentioned the whining making your ears bleed, and being "life-draining," I was right there with ya. In fact, the picture of a couple miniature dementors flashed across my mind.
Totally trying the opposite day thing.