i've decided to be french.
okay, okay. i know i'm doing it again. but i'm just so enchanted by french culture as presented in the book i'm reading... bringing up bebe.
here are some thoughts that are calling to me, "megan, megan. you're secretly french. a little."
"We Americans assign ourselves the job of pushing, stimulating, and carrying our kids from one developmental stage to next. The better we are parenting, we think, the faster our kids will develop. French parents just don't seem so anxious for their kids to get head starts. They don't push them to read, swim, or do math ahead of schedule. They aren't trying to prod them into becoming prodigies. I don't get the feeling that we're all in a race for some unnamed prize. In France the point of enrolling a child in a Saturday-morning music class isn't to activate some neural network. It's to have fun. French parents believe in 'awakening' and 'discovery.'"
"I'm struck by the nearly universal assumption [in France] that even good mothers aren't at the constant service of their children, and that there's no reason to feel bad about that. 'For the American woman, the role of mom is very segmented, very absolute. When they wear the mom 'hat' they wear the mom clothes. When they're sexy, they're totally sexy. And the kids can see only the mom part.' In France the "mom" and "woman" roles ideally are fused. At any given time, you can see both."
(this is megan speaking. for the record I have a neurotic aversion to the word sexy and its implications. but the idea of the quote is what I like.)
"Frenchwomen don't expect men to be their equals. They view men as a separate species, which by nature isn't good at booking babysitters, buying tablecloths, or remembering to schedule checkups with the pediatrician. This outlook creates a virtuous cycle. Frenchwomen don't harp on men about their shortcomings or mistakes. So the men aren't demoralized. They feel more generous toward their wives, whom they praise for their feats of micromanagement and their command of household details. This praise- instead of the tension and resentment that builds in Anglophone households- seems to make the inequality easier to bear."
it's me again. all those quotes were from the book before mentioned. i could tell you about all of it in great detail (as my husband can attest) but you should just read the thing.
after reading this book...
1. i have a new resolve to be a lovely woman and a mom simultaneously.
2. our kitchen is full of delicious new foods and (after only one day) our kids are substantially less picky.
3. my bebe takes baths.
here are some thoughts that are calling to me, "megan, megan. you're secretly french. a little."
"We Americans assign ourselves the job of pushing, stimulating, and carrying our kids from one developmental stage to next. The better we are parenting, we think, the faster our kids will develop. French parents just don't seem so anxious for their kids to get head starts. They don't push them to read, swim, or do math ahead of schedule. They aren't trying to prod them into becoming prodigies. I don't get the feeling that we're all in a race for some unnamed prize. In France the point of enrolling a child in a Saturday-morning music class isn't to activate some neural network. It's to have fun. French parents believe in 'awakening' and 'discovery.'"
"I'm struck by the nearly universal assumption [in France] that even good mothers aren't at the constant service of their children, and that there's no reason to feel bad about that. 'For the American woman, the role of mom is very segmented, very absolute. When they wear the mom 'hat' they wear the mom clothes. When they're sexy, they're totally sexy. And the kids can see only the mom part.' In France the "mom" and "woman" roles ideally are fused. At any given time, you can see both."
(this is megan speaking. for the record I have a neurotic aversion to the word sexy and its implications. but the idea of the quote is what I like.)
"Frenchwomen don't expect men to be their equals. They view men as a separate species, which by nature isn't good at booking babysitters, buying tablecloths, or remembering to schedule checkups with the pediatrician. This outlook creates a virtuous cycle. Frenchwomen don't harp on men about their shortcomings or mistakes. So the men aren't demoralized. They feel more generous toward their wives, whom they praise for their feats of micromanagement and their command of household details. This praise- instead of the tension and resentment that builds in Anglophone households- seems to make the inequality easier to bear."
it's me again. all those quotes were from the book before mentioned. i could tell you about all of it in great detail (as my husband can attest) but you should just read the thing.
after reading this book...
1. i have a new resolve to be a lovely woman and a mom simultaneously.
2. our kitchen is full of delicious new foods and (after only one day) our kids are substantially less picky.
3. my bebe takes baths.
Comments
I loved this post, and your one on kindergarten- that helped me, as my oldest is heading that way next year, too.
Thanks for having a lovely blog!
I'm learning that everything has a cost. And the cost of very absolute and strict lines drawn is a stone-set separation.
While the book boasted the success of French mothers, "success" was measured in ways that may not be God's ways. (Does your kid eat their greens? Does your child leave you alone when you're on the phone?) I am left wondering, "Do French children feel close to their parents when they're grown? Do these methods teach true selflessness or just courtesy as a means of obtaining selfish desires?"
Anyway, I've had a lot to think about. And I always come back to following my heart- with Heavenly Father at its center.