Monday, February 11, 2013

I just need to save this memory somewhere.

Last night I laid awake.

I looked across the bed at my sweet, sleeping husband. Way across the bed. A darling little, boy in between. Finn couldn't sleep. So since I couldn't sleep either we fidgeted restlessly together. We didn't talk to or look at each other, but we both knew the other was awake, and that was a comforting feeling. After a long while I felt him drift away into his own world. I turned to look at him and I had to order myself not to wake him up again. I did carefully move him onto my chest, hoping that some of his sleep might rub off on me. His eyes fluttered open for a second and he smiled briefly before rolling away.

I don't know if I've mentioned that we've all been sleeping in the same room. We have abandoned the modern norm and entered a past culture of one-room families. (And we've discovered for ourselves the answer to the age old question, "how did anyone ever make more babies with all those kids sharing their room?")

We moved our mattress upstairs a month or so ago. It's so warm and cozy up there, even when we're skimping to keep the heat bill down. Our sleeping situations are changing all the time, and I like it. I love the novelty of falling asleep in a new spot and I think the kids like it, too. It feels like a camping trip. Ossi sleeps on a little sofa right now. Last night he wasn't feeling well so he requested that we push his sofa next to our mattress. Later he puked over the back of the couch like he was sea-sick.

When I couldn't sleep, and Finn left me alone, I sat up to take in the scene. Ossi had rolled half way off the couch and was using his dad for the other side of his mattress. Eveleen whimpered in her sleep a little and I got up to cover her legs. I felt sad when I thought of Liam alone in his top-bunk. I almost climbed up there to sleep with him but I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning. Too comfortably awesome up there.

It wouldn't have mattered anyway, because I kept him home from school today. I just couldn't let him go. He had a tiny cough, and with Ossi throwing up I had every excuse to keep him all to myself.

Since I'd done the night rounds already; checking each child, making sure the doors were locked, doting on my handsome husband (only he can be that cute while sleeping with one eye open), and petting the cat, I laid back in bed and eventually fell asleep to the sound of my own happy thoughts.

No comments: