Thursday, March 14, 2013

you have. fif-teen. new messages.

this was how yesterday went down.

tamsin, my little sister, gave me a world-class pep talk. i can't remember a thing she said but when she was done i knew i was a good mom. i knew that everything is happening according to Heavenly Father's plan for our family. i knew that we are on the right track to finding help and answers. i believe that her pep-talk was so effective because she had the Holy Ghost with her, guiding her words and because i had it with me, softening my heart.

after that i started feeling better and better.

there's something about collective prayer that i can't wrap my brain around. is it really that simple? we pray together for someone and they feel it. wow. i knew something was different yesterday. i had so much extra strength as i walked into the therapist's office. the words flowed and i was able to articulate some of my most tender emotions and concerns. it wasn't until later in the day that i found out so many people were praying for ossi and me. (i've been letting my phone go to voicemail.)

i left that office with a greater awareness of the positive possibilities and a total shift in parenting perspective.

when i returned home i snuck into the house to spy on ossi and tamsin jumping on the trampoline together. it struck me then how many cheerleaders he has.

watching them through the window was like a preview of "good things to come."

all these prayers have given me clarity. i know why i am his mom. the very things that i love about myself are the things that he needs most. he needs my spark for his fire.

so our plan is going to be our own. it might not look just like anybody else's plan, and that's okay. because ossi is not just like anyone else.

after putting down the paperwork and picking up him, everything about our day changed.

we spent the warm afternoon snuggling and jumping on the trampoline.

and the kids helped tamsin and i use spray paint (they really like that stuff).

i really noticed my husband. he's one of the spark-liest things in my life and we were just losing touch amidst the madness.

did you know that his daughter jumps up and down in jubilee when matt gets home from work? sometimes they share a plate of lime slices with salt.

watching them i thought about how good he is to us. and how blessed i am. and how much the exhaustion was stifling my romantic cravings.

so we went on a date. simple as that. we resolved to be more romantic. and do more cliché, cheesy stuff.


then we came back home, went to sleep, and woke up with a kid in our bed.

and loved it.



thank you all for your sincere prayers. they are working. really, really working. in ways that scientists should study.

thank you.

1 comment:

teamcowan said...

Amen. ;)

Thank you for your honesty and for your spark.