Thursday, January 30, 2014

life and school.

I dreamed I was Hawkeye. The world was in danger. I was vaguely aware that I'd stolen the truck I was driving as I plowed through the Philippines with my many weapons rattling around in the cab.

I pretended I was allied with the enemy to breach the center of their operations, which  happened to be the cosmetics counter at Macy's.  When I arrived I was bombarded with teenage girls and came to the realization that I was a widower father of seven daughters.

My mission changed. I urgently needed to find matching dresses for my seven daughters that they all liked and that fit them each perfectly, and I didn't even remember their names. I looked through my wallet for clues and found several baby photos.

So there I was. Hawkeye. The world was in jeopardy and I was walking through a department store, covered in arsenal, holding up baby photos to dresses and checking tags. 
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In the last two weeks, instead of doing my school work, I have been doing dishes for, making dinner for, going on drives to talk to, and thinking constantly about a couple of friends I am quite worried about. I've taken the kids to the beach, and to the swimming pool, and I've started volunteering in Ossi's classroom and researching new options for his education. Plus writing emails like crazy to solve a conflict, setting appointments and visiting people from church, and playing cribbage with Matthew in the middle of the night so that we get a second to be in love amidst the chaos.

I haven't decided which set of real-life-responsibilities is represented by "saving the world" and which alludes to "dressing my daughters for a party," but I do know that I feel the weight of each pull. Life and school. Different types of missions-impossible.

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