Sunday, May 22, 2016

writing.

things happen. happy things. sad things.

i don't write them down these days. i can think of a dozen or more legitimate reasons why i don't write anymore. but stating those reasons won't bring back the moments that have slipped through me and drifted away.
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on one hand i'm okay with that. i'm okay with not documenting every moment. for a long time i was not okay with losing any memories, but now i've come to terms with the quantity of lessons, landmarks, and living we experience that fall out of our ready recall. it's just the way it is.
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i've been taking pictures of our family gatherings so long now that i'm honestly a little tired of it. i actually had an experience last christmas time that made me realize that i might not be the only person that's getting tired of it. my pride was a little hurt in that particular lesson. that's okay with me, too.
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maybe i'm in the "let go" part. the "this is the way it is and that's okay" part.
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on the other hand there are a lot of things i'm working hard to hold on to. important things. my identity as a human being, the way i am becoming what i want to be... i want to be a good mom and i'm not about to let that go. i want my marriage to be super happy and strong. i want to be growing spiritually and focusing on what really matters.
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writing has always helped me to do those things.

so maybe i should pick that back up.

2 comments:

Denise said...

I have always loved your words - thank you for sharing ;)

Alyssa Tolman said...

i love your words. and i think you help people more than you know. xo