Sunday, October 16, 2016

embracing my boys.

last night my brain revolved around halloween costumes and ballet costumes. i was thinking of ways to work the sewing so that they could move freely, look the part, and not be embarrassed.

our culture is sometimes cruel to boys so i worry, you know.
 photo fall is here 6 of 96_zpstlvwqor6.jpg
i couldn't quite bring my brain to rest as i thought of my boys and their needs.
 photo fall is here 7 of 96_zpsf83o6mdp.jpg
i think we are meeting their needs, at least we are trying our best.

one thing i've learned is that my boys like uniforms and badges, laws and handshakes, awards and recognition. they want to be valiant in a cause.

mostly they want their parents to care about what they care about.
 photo fall is here 4 of 96_zps6mypkoee.jpg
although they don't show it in obvious ways i know that all the time it takes me to do stuff like attaching badges to their shirts means a lot to them. they might leave their shirts crumpled in the couch cushions, but i know they treasure up the memories of watching me cut and attach with adhesive. i know their minds grab hold of the feeling of walking around great-grandpa's house with their shirts on and chests puffed out. finn just became a tiger scout (after weeks of tearful begging) so i've been working on his uniform as well. our church pack doesn't include tiger scouts so we've joined a different group for finn. more meetings, but he's so thrilled.
 photo fall is here 3 of 96_zpsbmiy7ho1.jpg
i've been thinking a lot about my mom when i was little.

i can actually remember when i was my kids' age, so that adds dimension beyond the blanket realization that my parents went through toddlerhood for me. now i remember the extra stuff and i feel the desire to serve my children in the ways i was served by my parents.
 photo fall is here 2 of 96_zpsnynwi8hk.jpg
my mom was jafar. i remember when she came into the living room with a towel wrapped around her head and an eyeliner beard. she'd already made a perfect jasmine costume for me with a home-made wig and everything. my brother, joey, was a real aladdin. brendan wore an abu costume that became a favorite for future shenanigans. my dad was the genie. all because of my mom. she'd not had time to make a costume for herself and she'd maintained that she didn't want to dress up, but she did.

she had the talent of caring about what we cared about and that's how she showed us that she cared about us.
 photo fall is here 1 of 96_zpsr0ngyjfe.jpg
when i finally fell asleep i dreamed of my boys. visions of their faces and feelings of their strengths passed through me.
 photo fall is here 5 of 96_zpsf8uw3dxf.jpg
then i awoke to finn in our room at 5am telling us about his world. in his world he'd successfully woken up without peeing in his bed. he'd also been experiencing an intense amount of pain because he'd swallowed a penny near bedtime.

when he awoke this morning (after returning to bed) he adamantly claimed he was now totally paralyzed. I think he'll be okay considering he's bouncing off the walls already and it's only 10am.
 photo fall is here 8 of 96_zpstzpmblkz.jpg
some moments it's easy to be interested in what they're interested in. they're terribly entertaining, you know.

some moments it's hard. they can talk about pokemon for hours on end, imitating the sounds they make in loud voices, you know.

i hope i can be like my mom and embrace them by embracing their passions.

No comments: