thank you, good books.

even as they struggle to get along i think they recognize the beauty of having one another.

 for their plans, from card games of "magic the gathering" to making action movies on the trampoline, they have playmates.

 right now the dynamic reads a little like this... 

 liam likes to romp with everyone else, but only on his terms. some hours he can play pretend like his younger siblings, but other times an adolescent irritation sets in and he absolutely needs no nonsense. as the oldest, and really because of who he is, liam is in such high demand in our household. this is a boy who can read and understand and interpret any instructions, work out a way to attach this to that, and come up with a new game when others have doomed the day to boredom. it's little wonder he needs time alone to build up his depleted internal resources. off he'll retreat into a well-written adventure fantasy. thank you, good books.

 finn fits a four hour shift of reading into every morning, then his body starts to scream for stimulation. straight from sluggish ease to a starship in hyperdrive- he wants (NEEDS) to move and interact- he suddenly and almost furiously needs playmates. "will you play on the trampoline with me? will you roller-blade? mom, no one wants to play with me!" finn has been known to hold liam's books hostage.  the song line "how do you keep a wave upon the sand," and really that whole song, comes to my mind. it's this untamable tide. trying to motivate him before he's ready... or trying to direct him when he's going... you know, i have a certain faith in the beloved characters with whom he's forging deep relationships as he reads certain books over and over. seth from fablehaven might be the greatest tutor and life coach right now- reaching finn exactly where he sits. thank you, good books.

 let's throw ossi into the mix and see what happens. here's a wild card if ever there was one. his room is a bit like a bat cave right now, with occasional visitors who are willing to help him build mandalorian cosplay. molly-dog has adopted the position of his sidekick, spending most of her days in his room with him and even sleeping at the foot of his bedding each night. a few weeks ago ossi decided he would like to become an animal trainer and his dad picked him up a pack of dog treats. i'm not sure how the trick training turned out, but i do know he won molly's heart. so they read or tinker in the cave until certain needs call out- the bathroom (backyard in molly's case) or the kitchen- and they step into the family light, blinking. if it's been too long, if ossi is grumpy, a darkness will set over the household. if he's in a happy mood he brings a brilliant light. we take it as it comes and love him either way. however the day went i can count on two things right now. one, ossi will soften in humor as matt reads "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" aloud before bed.  two, by the time we read from "saints" together and as i turn off the nightlights, ossi will have found his peace and he'll crave connection.  so i'll hug him and kiss him and rub his sweet legs. thank you, good books.

 i'm a little too sucked into the news as of late. with the impending labor and the unknowns of a worldwide pandemic... to combat the fear i am gripping my scriptures like the armrests in an airplane during turbulence.  i read the words and it doesn't always help in a perceivable way. i trust that the practice is fortifying me and overall i know i'd be a much bigger mess with nothings to hold. i've been reading "the bronze bow" to the family on sundays. i like it. i like the anticipation that builds in me, even though i've read the story before. i crave the descriptions of Christ and the feelings of those in His presence. thank you, good books.

 evy's days aren't typically tied to books. she probably reads quite a bit, but her brothers are entangled with books even into a huge knot to rival the knot from "maniac magee." evy plays well alone. she plays well with siblings. evy plays and plays and plays. she follows her brothers, she breaks off and does her own thing. it's so fluid the way she plays- like a graceful dance- with the occasional yell, "finn, stop!" or "ossi, stop!" or "STOOOOP!" before her coming home to stay i'd been talking to evy's school teacher, who told me of evy's social dynamic. "evy is a favorite buddy, with lots of people wanting to play with her at school. there are a few really strong young ladies in class that really want evy's attention. evy is so sweet and patient, but i worry that she never gets a moment to breath." what a good teacher to notice evy's needs that way! we discussed the options and decided that evy could benefit from books. books can be a buffer when we need to subtly send that "stop" message. evy is at the tipping point before cascading into reading flow.  the other day evy said, "i'm glad i'm reading the poem books because soon i think i will be ready for this!" she held up a fiction novel that her brothers rave about. i love watching her bloom in confidence as she reads new things. thank you, good books.

 matt and i went on a little date yesterday (to the drive-through ATM to deposit some cash) and we sat talking about our babies. we resolved to rejoice in the fruit of our past labor and to open our eyes to the blessings of our growing family. we ticked off a quick list of the hard things we'd endured and the results over time. mostly we talked about our children and the work it took to get them each here and to keep them alive and happy. i could add now that i am so grateful we read to them from the time they were babies. i remember sitting alone and reading my scriptures aloud so that liam could hear them from inside my belly. i remember wondering if the kids could even understand what was happening in "the last battle" or "the hero and the crown." there are countless moments in my memory of baby faces staring up at me in wonder and even confusion as i cried and cried at the endings or the parts with deep meaning to me. i felt their questions, "what does this mean?  why is she sad? or is she a strange type of happy? should i feel something now?" how many deep and wonderfully rich conversations started this way?

thank you, good books.