Monday, April 5, 2010

waiting.

He told me to stop waiting for the Spring. Well, really he was making an observation about a tendency we both have to say things like, "when we don't have all these bills...." or "when our babies are older...." or "when we have more time for one another..." But it's usually me saying these things, so I interpreted his remarks as rebuke.
Yesterday I was sweeping the floor when I found the missing back to my favorite earrings. At the time I was cleaning to blow off steam; I always clean like a maniac when I'm feeling grumpy. Finding part of my beloved treasure reminded me of the evening he opened a little box to present them to me as an incredibly early valentine's day gift when we were dating. That evening we had gone together to see a high school's presentation of Les Misérables, which neither of us had ever seen. By the curtain call I was crying in sobs and snorts, hysterical, caught completely in the world of the players. We climbed into his truck and I continued to sob. With a hint of confusion in his brow over his role in the scenario, he gingerly caught my attention to gift me the lovely earrings.
I held that memory in my mind, turning it over as I thought of the extremely emotional tendencies I've displayed through the past four years of our marriage. Epiphany number one; I've always been a bit of a nut, and he knew perfectly what he was getting himself into by loving me. Sudden realization number two; all he has ever wanted is for me to be happy, he just doesn't always know how to interpret my actions or what I expect of him during passionate outbursts.
So he told me to stop waiting for Spring, because I've been complaining a lot about the miserable parts of our current situation. I forgot that he loves me despite my shortcomings. But now I remember. I forget that he only wants me to be happy. But now I remember.
When we were married I promised to listen to his righteous advice. I've never been that great at being wrong.

Although I'm still carrying the hope of Spring, I'm looking for the beauty of the current season. I have a husband who loves me enough to tell me the things I don't want to hear. This song comes to mind. I'm counting my blessings. And a blustery day never looked more stunning.

10 comments:

jdavissquared said...

I think as wives we forget sometimes how much our husbands want nothing more than to make us happy. I know I forget. Thanks for the reminder, and here's to living in the now!

Jessica Bjorn said...

I am not sure we need to stop waiting for spring; as long as we aren't taking our winters for granted.

Brieanna said...

Spring is here, my dear, and it lies in you. I was reading the newspaper this morning, when I came across an article about spirituality, this pastor quoted in the article said that spiritual people be where they are or something like that. I really liked that idea because it is really important to live in the moment. It's not always easy and especially for us moms who want everything wonderful for our families. Check out some quotes on simplicity, I know you'll really like them. It's easy to forget but, out of a lot of people I know, you really do try to stay on the bright side. Besides, men are so different from us, when we vent it is because we need to just talk about it, they on the other hand, can only think about how to fix it, and that can be overwhelming I'm sure. I love your pictures of these past windy days. It really is beautiful, isn't it. All things have a magical nature, that's what I think anyway, it's about how one looks at it.

HandsomeRob said...

While I was reading this I kept thinking about my own situation which may not have anything to do with you at all.
It seems like whenever I see my husband less and I'm not having that quality time connecting with him that's when I am the most sensitive and I find more fault with him. It's ridiculous how that works but it always seems to go that way.

Trapper and Suzy said...

I love that you said that you should listen to your husband's righteous advice. I think a lot of times, I hate the advice my husband gives me because if anyone has the expert opinion on things, it's me. But that's not true. This morning, I remembered the story of Adam and Eve. When they were being banished, Eve made a covenant with the Lord that she would obey her husband as he obeyed the Lord. It helps me to remember how important it is to listen to my husband's guidance.

Christiana said...

To paraphrase Nichole Nordeman's song Every Season, God uses the death of winter to open doors for the life of Spring to enter.

When you can determine to love and trust God in the winter seasons of life - and have a God-given man who loves you through them - you can greet the arrival of Spring (for it always does come) with celebration, with childlike jumping for joy, and with a deep appreciation for new beginnings. For life restored.

Wishing you moments of beautiful reflection in these days of winter. And as you are focusing on the now, I will expectantly hope for Spring on your behalf.

Rach said...

I am the same as April. Why are we so silly? Winter is almost over though, and YAY for the sun coming soon!!!

ps-Lily is all stuffed up now too.

Megan Marie said...

Thank you, all. For your kind words, advice and well-wishes. :)

Feainnewedd said...

Your blog makes my days brighter. Thank you :)

Kat & Paul said...

Love this!