Monday, March 18, 2013

the symphony.

a dear friend of mine sent me the most thoughtful package.
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i love the cheery reminder i now have sitting where my ceramic bird once lived.
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the other night matthew and i were arguing.

we don't usually argue but it's been happening more frequently over the past months. we are both so tired and although we are starting to formulate a big-picture plan, we are totally stumped about the day-to-day trials of parenting such an explosive son.

i mentioned that we were going to try to be more romantic. well, it hasn't been any easier. after a few days of the same strained bond, we argued.

we refuse to quit one another. we also don't want to be the couple that realizes in the empty-nest phase that they have nothing in common anymore. so we went to bed with the unanswered question. how does anybody make this work?

our home-teachers came over the next day. having a bit of insight into our current struggle (sit in our house for two minutes and you'll know there's something wrong) one home-teacher told us a story.

he said, "when i was in high school we went on a trip to see a symphony. the first half was the most dissonant, obnoxious music i'd ever heard. the point of the piece must have been to irritate the audience. many of the students left. many more fell asleep. but i stayed awake, and i'm so glad i did. the second half was moving, and beautiful. i remember feeling so sorry for those who had checked out."

later matt and i talked about our natural tendencies to want to leave the show or fall asleep. and we resolved to stay present and awake.

we'd talked about reading a book, "the explosive child" to better understand some of ossi's behaviors, but we'd been planning on reading separately and coming together afterward. instead we've committed to reading aloud, chapter by chapter, and already i'm glad because our discussions have made me realize that we don't understand the same lines the same way. or even see ossi the same way.
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i love the above display we've got up in our dining room right now.

ossi broke my favorite plate a while back, only by accident when we asked him not to play with it but he couldn't stop. matt helped him clean it up and they put a paper plate in its spot.

little by little our house is being filled with reminders of wisdom gained, trials endured, and Opportunities to Seek Spiritual Insight.

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